Man I love tax time! Being a single mom and making minimum wage allots me a refund. And a big one at that! The only thing problem is that each year I have to pay bills or pay off my car or something along those lines. I never get to do anything fun with it. This year for example I need to fix my car. Nothing fun about that in the least. I mean it's good that it will get done but I just wish I could take the kids on vacation or send my parents on one for all the things that they do for me. All I know is that I need to find a rich man to take care of me and my kids so that I do not have to work any more. LOL Actually that is not true. Even if I were rich or my husband made enough so that I did not have to work I would still work at least part time. I can not be one of those women that just sit around eating bon bons and watching soaps. Oh don't get me wrong I would do that for like the 1st couple of months but then I would get bored and have to get a job. Of course this is all hypothetical and will never happen but a girl can dream. Ok well I guess that's all for now.

I suck at postings sad but true. There never seems to be enough time in the day to do everything that I want or need to do. Besides my life is not that interesting. I have defiantly slowed down in my old age. My friends used to say that they lived vicariously through my life since I had all the good (or bad depending on your view of things) things going on. I always had something to do or say. Some new guy I was trying to date or dating. Now a days guys hear that I have 3 children and they run like I have the plague. Maybe I do have it that would certainly explain a lot about me LOL! I used to go out and see movies or go out to the bar. Now I'm lucky if I see more then the inside of my car in a day. Ah sad but true. Then again even if I did have the opportunity to go out; I would be so tired that I would not enjoy myself that much. I mean as kids we have tons of energy but as we get older we get less and less. And really how backwards is that? Oh well! Anyway I'm really going to try to update more then once a week but do not hold your breath.

So it's late Friday night and I am sitting here trying to think of anything but work. This last week and the week prior have been hell! I have had to work overtime which in my field is pretty much unheard of. I have been so tried and out of it that I actually went to the store the other night for groceries; got them went up to the check out lane and the nice cashier rang them all up gave me my total before I realized that I had left the house without any money! So I had to have the suspend my transaction so that I could run back home and get said money to pay for my groceries. The cashier was really nice about it though even though I felt like the biggest ass in history! He even had someone bag my groceries for me so that when I got back I could pay and go. That was really cool. Maybe I'll forget my money more often. LOL! Then on that same trip back to the store to pay for my crap I see this guy who was really cute and I gave him my best smile. He was there with two other guys though so I did not approach him. I did check out what they were buying though to see if they were roommates or something else if you know what I'm saying. Anyway I get done and take my crap out to my car where I see the guys that were just in the store one aisle over from where my car is. I watch them a little and notice that the one that I smiled at got into his own car. So I head over to the gas station that is right next to the grocery store and start to get gas and who pulls into the pump next to mine but Mr. Cutie himself. Still I can not bring myself to say anything to him. So I go inside to pay for the gas and guess who walks in right behind me and stands right next to me? Yep that's right Mr cutie! And what do you think I did? NOTHING, NADA, ZIP ZILTCH....... Which believe me if you know me is not like me at all. So the only conclusion that I can come to about all of this (and believe me when I say I have been mentally brow beating myself for days about this) is that I am tired of being the one to speak with my interest. I may be alone for the rest of my life for this but I have decided that I want to be asked out! I want to know that you thought that I was cute too! I want you to talk to me first! I know it's horrible but whatcha going to do?

Mondays are the worst. I know I have stated that before but I think that it bears repeating. Last night I had to close and we were not that busy really but I made some good tips. (Yea me!) But then I got home and had a horrible time trying to get to sleep. You ever have those nights were you know that you must sleep but your mind has other ideas? Yeah that was me last night. No matter what I did I just could not fall asleep. I would try hard not to watch the clock as the minutes slowly ticked by but my eyes would inadvertently travel back there time after time. At about 4:30 am I finally drifted off into a restless sleep. Only thing worse then restless sleep is no sleep at all but it is only a short second behind. Then I have to get up and go to work all over again. It was a good day at work today even though I really could not get motivated at all. Then at the end of the day it starts to snow....Oh joy! As we know in the state of Minnesota it snows often but it is also known that as soon as it starts to fall people forget how to drive. Ah love that snow! Why is it that the harder it snows the faster people seem to drive? Yeah that makes sense! Oh well at least I know how to drive and all the idiots that speed past me end up in the ditch. Now that is justice!

Ok what is the deal with guys? That's really what I want to know. Ok so you meet a guy and everything seems to go well. You flirt exchange numbers and so on and so forth. Then it's days later and he still has not called you so you get up the courage to call him yourself. You pick up the phone 8 times trying to get the nerve to actually call his number then when you do you get his voicemail. *Sigh* Ok so you leave him a message telling him that you were just calling to say hello and to call you back when he has time. And maybe that's the mistake right there. Maybe he never has time. Because days and days go by and no call. Then when you have finally given up on the fact that you will ever hear from him (5 days later) he calls. You ignore it letting it go to vociemail cuz turn around is fair play right? Well that and you don't want to look as desperate as you are feeling. And he does not even have the courtesy to leave you a message. So this creates a whole list of other thoughts in you head; do you call him back again; just pretend that he did not call at all and see if he calls again or what? Then if you are anything like me you think about this for quite a while. You call two of your closes female friends and ask their advice and then you even talk to a couple of your guy friends to get their opinion on the subject. After all this you have to be thinking" IS IT REALLY WORTH IT"? I miss the days when a guy would chase after me. I know I know equal rights and all and that's all fine and dandy with most things. When it comes to dating I want to know that he is interested without all this worry and work.

Can anyone tell me why he just can't say he's interested or that he is not interested? I mean I'm to old for games.

Its been awhile since I have posted so I thought that I would today, even though I do not have much to say. I have not been doing much of anything new. Holidays are over, and life has slowed back down to normal rate. It amazes me though how the stores jump for one holiday directly to the next. Before the new year was over Walmart had put out their valentine crap. I think that holiday is such a waste of a holiday. I guess its ok for some but like every other holiday its just to commercialized. Have you ever heard the commercial that says tell her you love her by getting her a diamond? Yeah that's the only way she going to know right? I mean its just crap! Love is not about what you buy for a person or what you don't buy for them. If he/she does not know that you love them without some big extravagant gift you are doing something wrong. Am I right or am I right?